Miss Selfridge

Sunday, 6 January 2019

WHEN LIFE FALLS APART

When life falls apart some would say: ''if life gives you lemons make lemonade''... Probably when life falls apart we start looking for inspirational quotes and looking and doing everything to make us feel better and happier. Looking for something or anything...  drinking and going out and relying on friends and family's advises just to make us a little bit better in hopes to restore our self's in the near future. And this is the time when people in general start feeling free to give advises (most likely things they need to do themselves or they secretly want to do these things) Join a class! GO OUT!  Put a dress and a lipstick on! Meet new people! Find new hobbies! And so on and on... I find this quite exhausting, to be honest. If you want to do these things by all means DO but if you don't then DON'T do it just to make other people happier and validated through you.  Most people look for soothing outside of themselves rather than INSIDE themselves.  I see it as wound underneath the plaster we mask it so it's not there and if we take it off and look at it and it needs to be disinfected so it does not get infected that stings and stings like hell! To be honest 2018 was crazy for me and I could not wait until the end of it. However, I ended up showing gratitude and appreciating for the last year in the end. I am grateful for the lessons 2018 has given me. One of them is doing what I WANT to do not others. I am still learning to say no and not feeling bad about it. How many times I have said yes to things I did not want to do just to please others? Just because I felt I should do it ... HUNDREDS!!! I think most of us do that just because we feel validated by others... It's kind of shooting own-self in the foot. We live our lives through others so when are we going to start living our own life? So that was really turning point for me realising I want to live my own life and this is then I stopped giving advises to people and started looking for what I want to do. And I realised I will disappoint people along the way by not doing what they want me to do in my life. Advise is a reflection of the giver not of the taker. Of course, it's different than we seek to learn and get information about something with genuine interest or share the same values. But if people don't ask for advice... THEY DON'T NEED ONE!
I had loads of ideas of which direction my blog is going to go and things I want to write but today I just felt an urge to write this. I wasn't sure how it is going to turn out but this is me doing spontaneously what I want to do without overthinking. I guess what I wanted to say by this I choose to be validated by ME and my wishes for others for 2019 to stop giving pieces of advice :)

With LOVE, Justina