Miss Selfridge

Thursday, 19 December 2019

Decisions Change Lives

Every decision we make will have an impact on the life we going to live and some decisions will have an impact on others. And it's their responsibility how they going to decide to deal with it. We all make the choices of an effect on us. However, it's is our superpower to make those decisions for ourselves no decision is still a decision.  Past has been done already. It is not changeable (maybe something I don't know about it yet, but not as far as I know). The only moment we have is right now. And how we going to live tomorrow we are one decision away. This is very much a self-love post I have been thinking about for quite some time and got inspired to write it after meeting my friend who said it's easier for her to look after others more than herself. Of course, at that point, I had a little bit of a rant. I will stand for what I have said in the past if we don't love ourselves we simply not able to love others. If we don't accept ourselves how can we accept others? If we not able to look after ourselves how do we know what others needs are if we can't meet ours directly? We all meet our needs 100% but unfortunately, we often don't know how to meet them directly we meet them in unhealthy ways and often quite toxic without any awareness of doing so. We can decide being for ourselves witch gives space for others to be there for themselves. Often helping comes from a place of wanting to fix. I can't fix myself but I can fix you. The more love for ourselves the more acceptance and tolerance we have for others. Acceptance doesn't mean we have to be around these people if it is not in our best interest. It is just understanding from a not judgmental place that these people will have to figure what's best for them and you for you. We make choices every day from breakfast to dinner. Saying I had no choice is a choice itself. I wanted to encourage people with this post to be brave and make these decision to love ourselves first. I said something about myself at Christmas party that I looked hot or cute can't really remember exactly and my super beautiful friend said I wish I would be so confident and I said to her that did not always come easy I made a choice to love and accept all the imperfect accepts of myself. This is then I started seeing the beauty in others. And that's what I wish for all of you to make that choice to be there for you so then you can be there for others.

Saturday, 16 November 2019

The Power Of Being Concerned With Yourself

The Power Of Being Concerned With Yourself- is really taking your power back and looking after it within yourself. Then I use the word you - I use it as a generic term not meaning anyone in specific. I would like to share a message today. All my messages brew for some time until it's clear and I connect all the dots for myself and then I feel ready to share it. I just realised how little I am concerned with what people tell me what they think I should be doing. It wasn't always the way. I was definitely a people pleaser and validation seeker so of course, then people would tell me you shouldn't be doing that or you should be doing this because that what you need and that's the way. It used to have an effect on me. You know that feeling of not getting it right. I was concerned with everyone's opinions and how should my life be and what should I be doing instead of really focusing what is it I need to be doing and what is it I want for myself. Rather than focusing inwards, I was seeking external validation. However, a beautiful thing happened I got aware that I was doing so. The more I got concerned with myself and constantly checking in with myself. The opinions of others what they think they know did no longer matter and another beautiful thing I am not concerned what others need to be doing for them selfs, in general, no longer matter. I use to explain and explain and explain what I am trying to do and prove myself to others and I no longer need that validation seeking has disappeared as I know inside what is it I need to be doing and the need of explaining just disappeared. That's all it is, it is just not there. I can't even be bothered and it is a very freeing feeling. There is a lot of talk about mirroring each other. And recently I had to ask that myself then I was being challenged about myself is that judgement of me and telling me what to do and what is it I really need... is that mirroring something to me that I haven't dealt with? And the answer was a big NO! It's a big misconception that we are mirrors of one another. It is ONLY mirrored back to us if we get triggered. However, if we know that it is not ours and it has no effect on us it is not a mirror. We can be mirrors for others and vice-versa there are lessons to be learned everywhere but it doesn't mean that everyone we meet is mirroring something back to us and it becomes very clear then we get concerned with ourselves. I attended Super Power Live in London last weekend and I learned a lot! Thank You I am Creators Team. I went with no expectations and one of the messages I have taken home is that the biggest part of our lives is the things we don't know that we don't know what we don't know :) There is a fine line then we make suggestions and brainstorm with friends who needs help and looking for advice and just trying to see if there are different options available that they might haven't thought of. Between us thinking that we know what they need to be doing. I have written a blog post about advice before if you not asked for one then it is not needed. Telling people what they should be doing it comes from our own place of conditioning. I recently spoke a lot about self-acceptance ad then we accept ourselves we start accepting others. However recently, I had someone telling that I am this and I am that and that is coming from a place of fixing also been told that I need to travel by myself to discover myself... well noooo thank you but no :) That's not the message I share and if this message is not clear then it's nothing to do with me. We have to support each other without expectations what others need to be doing because at that very moment we aren't concerned with ourselves and we trying to shape others through our own perspective. Let's be our each other's light and support for whatever path we choose to take without trying to put our way of thinking because it is not needed. That's the Beauty and Power of being self-concerned.

Monday, 26 August 2019

Be Kind to your Vagina

Being Kind to your Vagina

As the vaginas are one most precious parts in female bodies why not start looking after it better? Vaginas have 9 thousand nerve endings out of 27 thousand in the body. Personally, I think it is a pretty fascinating fact! Anything goes near it has to be good and kind and gentle as it is very precious! Quite a few years back I bought organic cotton pads different ones than in the picture but with the same values as Kind Organic to look after female health. And on the packing it was written that it does not contain bleach. At that point, I was totally clueless and the first thing came to my mind was the question does the main convenient brands I have been using for years contain bleach? After that my next question is why ...? So yeah turns out that the pads I have been using since I was a teenager from all the big supermarkets we trust to shop contain all sorts of nasty ingredients. It does not list ingredients on the packaging I guess because they don't have to but it is not difficult to find on their websites I guess they have to be transparent somewhere where no one is looking. Why on earth someone would even think to look for ingredients for pads but it turns out we really should. The more aware as consumers we will be of what we are using for our vaginas the better. The less we buy of toxic female personal care big toxic brands will be forced to rethink of things they are putting in the making. Pads and tampons are one of the things we use monthly for several days and I can just imagine how much waste of it goes in the landfills being kind to our vaginas would help the environment too. I love Kind Organics and the fact that they made it to bigger retailers so it is easier to find them. Unfortunately, the rest of the supermarket shelves contain mainly toxic items. And my least favorite is the perfumed ones! Let's be kind to ourselves and our environment by being aware of what we use is the first step of improving our wellbeing and surroundings.

Being Kind to your Vagina

Being Kind to your Vagina

Monday, 27 May 2019

Self Love: doing something for yourself

 Self Love becoming quite a topic of mine. I have written a blog post before about Self Love called: Self Love: life without guilt or shame, self-doubt or never being good enough. I was having a drink with a friend last night and felt quite an advocate for femininity, self-love, self-respect, looking after yourself and counting yourself accountable for own choices. Then I use the word yourself I mean each and everyone including me. Life is all about choices we have tough days, tough weeks or even tough years but at the end of the day, we decide how we going to get through it! The last couple of weeks wasn't easy for me but I wake up every morning making that choice not always easy but a choice to have a good day anyway. I am showing gratitude and appreciation for opportunities coming my way. It is something to be excited about right?! 
For example, I am grateful that  Joseph&Stacey gifted me this beautiful super trendy bag of my choice to write a review about it. I just want to say big Thank You I love it and it was super nice and easy to collaborate with you guys! This bag suits me and my style so well basically I am also grateful that I have good taste! I also had a hair cut. I always tend to cut my hair short then I need some changes it's something about the association with hair cut and losing weight off the shoulders. 
My main main message here is that doing something for yourself no matter how big or small it is, does not mean spending money it could be writing yourself a love letter, meditating, having a walk, taking a long bath or dancing by yourself with a set intention: I am doing this for me as I love myself makes all the difference. I think it is a path to a happier and healthier life no matter how bumpy road is.

With Love

Monday, 15 April 2019

Feminine Feminist. BYE BYE BRAS.

 This blog post has been brewing for a while most likely just over 2 years. About two years ago I said bye-bye little sucker to my BRA! In two years I can't say that I have never worn it but it is definitely been a very few times. It has started after watching a documentary about breast health and how bras to squash lymph nodes around the breasts and ditching a bra and reducing wearing time reduces risk to get breast cancer. ( I am not mentioning documentary and can't say this is a fact and this blog post is not about this documentary it is just how it started ;) ) So after watching this documentary my mind was just questioning it all. I thought to myself I could reduce bra time so I started wearing less at home and started not wearing it during weekends. At a time I was feeling soooooooo self-conscious I thought everyone can see that I am not wearing a bra and that everyone  KNOWS. I use to ask my partner at the time how does it look? Can he tell? Do my boobs look OK?!.... Now it is quite funny for me.  Do my boobs look OK?! What sort of question is that :))? I know the answer now myself THEY ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!  It was most likely quite annoying for him at a time for me to bombard him with so many self-conscious questions. Luckily I am far away from feeling this way. The weird thing was then I first started leaving the bra on weekends at home I felt so naked and breast felt bouncy rolling all around not being in a place you know the feeling right? It was just weird unusual and quite embarrassing in some ways. After several weekends I thought OK I could potentially go to work without bra :))  and I was freaking out at the time but I wanted to do it I knew it was the way to go for me. Imagine how would you feel going to work and leaving a BRA at home? How do you feel about this idea..? I wear fully covering appropriate clothing and it should not ever be a problem leaving a bra at home but it is. It is somehow expected of women to wear bras right? Why? Really why so that boobs don't bounce? It is totally natural for breasts to bounce it is a completely natural body part why to strap it like that? Of course, there is that we want to boost them look higher than they actually are it is kind of misleading isn't it but this blog post is not about this either :). Anyway, slowly I have started not wearing bras at work and pretty much stopped wearing it all together.  Then a weird thing happened, my breasts feel exactly the same way if I would wear a bra, now I feel no different than before, actually, I think they are sturdier than it used to be. Underneath breasts there are muscles. It is not logical if muscles are continuously resting on the bra how is it supposed to work? I can assure you I have no negative affects ditching bra away only positive full stop. :)

If I put my bra on I can't wait to get it off as it is soooo uncomfortable! And that leads me to my childhood memory how I got my first bra YEEY:)))). Do you remember your story? I was probably about age 10-12 I was totally comfortable not something I was thinking about so basically I got pointed out by someone that my breasts are showing and I should start wearing bras. Yep, that's embarrassing!!! People are cruel without knowing it. So I went home all embarrassed that I haven't got a bra on and that my small boobies which at a time was just starting to show were too big not to get extra coverage. So in a way, I got shamed and that's something needs to be hidden. So I convinced my Mama that I need a bra as I remember she didn't think I needed one yet not even sales assistant in the shop I got size 0 but you know it's started showing and people noticed so I had to get one there was no other way nor that there is now you got pair sticking out so you got to wear one right? And I remember getting used to wearing bras took the time it was uncomfortable until I could not live without one for about 15 years! I understand that now times are different and most likely girls can't wait to put one on as they are such a cute accessory. I don't wear bras but I can't say they don't appeal to me they definitely marketed the right way that's for sure as it has so much sex appeal and sex sells as we know.

The nipple is another funny thing, especially on Instagram. If man and women would take a picture topless man can show their nipples as much as they like right? But if women show their nipples oh no no no hell no we can't it would definitely get blocked by Instagram. So what's the difference? Everyone got nipples in different sizes, colours and shapes so why on earth women have to hide theirs? The nipple is a nipple we all have them! If you haven't seen one have a look at your chest feel free to explore it further might discover something... a NIPPLE! :)

Where I am going with this blog post is about self acceptance without body shame. I am not saying that everyone should stop wearing one I know it won't happen I just want people to look at it from different perspective maybe you will realise you do't need one as it is not essential and actually not important at all and we are just simply conditioned into wearing one. WE HAVE THE CHOICE! To be fear I never knew it was optional not to wear one as I was made to believe I have to wear one. Now, I have made conscious choice not to. As we know everything is a choice we just unaware of them.  
How did I come by to write this blog post? I got inspired actually at work. I was just telling my 3 female colleges that I bought quite expensive knickers and they told me I could have got whole set with a bra for that much and I simply said I don't wear bras! They looked quite surprised and I asked if they noticed and of course they said Noooo :). And as you can imagine I was asked few questions and comments like that breasts will go down. Well they will go down with bra or without one it's only natural for that I suppose only surgery would help. It was quite fun conversation and few years’ back I would have been surprised myself, how someone can not wear bra!!! Well, things definitely have change!
My blog title came from talking with my male friend about this upcoming blog post. We talked freely about pretty much everything which is supper fun! And I am all about being body positive. Embracing my femininity (it is a super power just saying :) )  and encouraging others to do the same. Finding inner peace and self acceptance and accepting that we are different from man and from other women none of us ever the same and embracing the differences and celebrating it, but don't mistaken that for not being feminist. I do stand for female rights and living without shame. I guess that could be whole new blog post on the subject. I just wanted to cover the title a little bit.

Final thoughts on the subject, I hope after reading this short article you will be open  to the idea that we were all conditioned to wear bras and made self  conscious if we haven't got one which is totally wrong on so many different levels for instance that as females we should be hiding our goods. Just to let you know they are there for the reason :) Anyway whatever you take away from reading this, know that everyone has a choice in EVERYTHING. 

With LOVE, 

Tuesday, 5 March 2019

Spring Outfit and the MOONSTONE

Spring Outfit blog post is going to be quite different from the last couple of posts and what I am planning to write:) I am giving a little hint here! I got loads of ideas recently! I think they are amazing but I got to keep a little secret here:) ( because it's not quite ready yet :) but I like a little bit of tease .. so hey ho:). This is my favourite outfit at the moment. Probably, because I have been embracing my sexy cool self a lot lately. :) I have been looking into crystals and crystal properties and my moonstone necklace is my current favourite accessory. I got it for myself to celebrate my periods but in the end, I loved it so much so I started wearing it every day.  
Suddenly, I just remembered that I have written a blog post on periods before so I think I will need to write another one soon as I got a completely new perspective on the subject! That's exciting! Just came up with a new idea on future blog post even though I was going to keep this one super light and simple :)

Just a little bit on Moonstones and then BYE BYE for now. They come in a few different colours and I think mine comes on the pink moonstone category ( I am not an expert I might be wrong). I think all women should wear or have moonstone in their life's as it has deeply feminine energy about it. Helps to bring balance. improves confidence and apparently its a master healer for women. And the main thing is it is super cute! :)